Gluttony: Haytham x Burger
by MasterBridgee
Summary: A short drabble of Haytham being obsessed over an American burger. Why did I pick this topic? Well, because my tumblr URL is haythamburger and an awesome friend (Cheesyprodo) of mine made a drawing towards it,so I had to add in a story as well.Reviews would be much appreciated!Enjoy!


**BurgerxHaytham**

Dreamily, Haytham drooled at the food in front of him. What beauty; what a nice plump figure. He batted his eyes and sighed in contentment. How is it possible that Haytham, the Grand Master Templar, was swooning over a hamburger? He didn't know what got over him, but that thick slab of burger was so tempting and appealing to the eye. The green leafy lettuce, the thick moist meat, the juicy tomatoes and all in between made the perfect match to heaven. Oh how wonderful, Haytham thought to himself. Just the thought of shoving that magnificent burger in his face _enlightened_ his mood and excitement.

"Oh, my beloved burger. You shall be mine. You shall come to my taste buds and flow down my throat to rest in the pit of my belly." To anyone else Haytham must have sounded like a madman but he didn't care; he just wanted what was right in front of him. Reaching an arm from under his chin, he nervously placed a finger on the soft squishy bun and found himself giddy in delight from the feeling. Then he let his whole palm rest at the top and he gently rubbed it over in circular motions, as if to appease the inanimate object. He wanted it inside him now! This was probably the only american morsel he could accept and accept and rumors of how delicious it was were taunting him. Just a taste, a sliver of the fine meat between his teeth was all he begged for. But what was he waiting for? Why not engulf it now? No one was here in his studies and Mrs. Langley was off dusting the library. He had a minute to spare before being interrupted. He giggled and confidently place both his eager hands on the sides of the hamburger, licking his lips in anticipation. Haytham knew he really should have been working and not lollygagging around- but oh well. He picked up the hamburger and brought it up close to his nose. They flared and he breathed in the greasy smell of what was in front of him as if to punish himself for being so obsessed. At first Haytham was a little afraid to ruin such an exquisite piece by taking a bite, but he rest his elbows on the desk and inched his lips closer as he brought it in. His mouth watered dramatically and he had to swallow down the spit that formed in his glands.

That's when ecstasy hit him and it hit him hard. The juices seeped in his gums and the lettuce crunched under his teeth. Everything about the burger was perfect. Haytham took a long savor of the first bite, slowing down his jaw as he chopped up the meat into smaller pieces in his bitterness of the tomato, the grease of the meat, and the sweet and sour taste of the mustered and ketchup all but had him dizzy and his tongue aching for more. All the ingredient mixed in his mouth and he took them down to end up in his stomach. He could feel his belly jumping and dancing in glee and this was the true feeling of peace and happiness.

He felt loose and satisfied as he continued to finish up his holy meal. Haytham inspected the ity bitty bite he had left and frowned a sad frown, "This is it." Haytham put a hand on his stomach and grumbled; he was full, but only a fool would let this precious gift go to waste. He gulped in a burp and took the whole thing in one bite and swallowed. Ahhh.. all this obsessive love eating made him tired. His stomach was full; his mouth was sore and he was sure his buttons would pop out of place. Leaning back on his chair, he sighed deeply and rested his eyes imagining of the enormous meal he had just intake.

_Knock. Knock._

"Master Kenway?" chirped Mrs. Langley.

Haytham's eyes shot open and he quickly made himself look presentable. He stuffed all the wrappers and mess in an empty drawer trying to clear his work area. He sat up straight and smoothed his coat.

"Please do come In,"he called.

It was time for tea and that might do good to water his now dry mouth. He smiled towards the lady as she entered with the tray in hand of his daily tea. It steamed and the smoke ghosted above the liquid. "Thank you. " she nodded and placed the tray on his desk. She poured it and plopped two sugar cubes in his cup as usual. After that she moved back and stared longer at Haytham then necessary. It made him feel uncomfortable,but he kept calm. She tilted her head and she gave a toothy smile."Sir, I don't mean to be rude, but there is a bit of a yellow stain at the corner of your lip." Haytham froze and his cheeks redden, feeling a bit embarrassed. "Oh, pardon me. Do you mind fetching my handkerchief by the lantern." He pointed over behind her and she turned to retrieve the cloth. He exhaled and licked his lips to wipe away at the mustard that lay there. She turned back around and handed it to Haytham, still smiling, then dismissed herself with a tiny curtsy. Haytham cleaned up his mouth and folded the handkerchief to stow away. At least she didn't question him. Well, no one really question him in his quarters.

He let his shoulders slump once more and brought the hot tea closer towards him, smiling to himself, he sipped at the liquid. Haytham chuckled and shook his head as he unbuckled his trousers. Ahh, another burger would do him good in the future. It made his stress dissolve, but pleasing himself was rare so he doubted a meal like this would come to him soon. Either way he would bare the memory of the taste and smell of his delightful hamburger.

If only a relationship was possible with food maybe life would be easier.

* * *

Ok, I seriously can't stop laughing. i feel like i made Haytham x Burger porn. **Cheesyprodo (tumblr URL)** and** I (haythamburger) ** kinda made this all up. It started with her drawingwhich escalated into making this story to match it. If you wanna see the picture go on tumblr and search under the "haythamburger" tag. Anyways, I hope you liked it and hopefully I don't go to hell for making food porn. Also any mistakes, please point them out I like my stories to be as perfect as possible.


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